Cake? Where's the Cake?
Today was another sunny day in Seattle. As usual, I was around 2 something p.m. I was sitting in Psychology and the class was discussing human behavior and cultural influences. One of the scenarios was "You have asked your mother-in-law not to give little Elliot a piece of chocolate cake because it will spoil his dinner. She says that she make the cake especially for Elliot and gives him a piece." The question was what would do next/how would you react?
OMG! 2 of my classmates basically replied they would tell her the cake will spoil his dinner, take it away and save if for after dinner. Another said she would tell Elliot how thoughtful it was of his grandma to bake him the cake and ask him save it for after dinner (nice!).
My question is, what's wrong with just letting him eat the cake? Think about it, IT'S JUST CAKE. So what !?!? if it spoils his dinner. Little Eliot isn't going to fall over and die just because his missed dinner that day. The world isn't going to blow up just because he ate a slice of cake. Right? Furthermore, being 'Assertive', taking the cake away, insisting to save if for later causes more bad then good. Bad? Yes, your mother-in-law probably won't like you very much (you might not care but...why would you want someone to hate you?). You're sending the grandma the message that you and Elliot are rejecting her love and affection. She is your mother-in-law, and you're bound to run into one another more then a few times in your life time (i.e. during holidays). So if there's a grudge between the both of you, don't you think the grudge will kill the everyone's holiday mood? Not to mention, you're also putting your husband between you and his mom. Elliot will lose respect for his grandma, since you showed him that you overrule her. Elliot also be in a bad mood since he wants cake and can't have it. You probably won't be in good mood after the ordeal. So why would you react that what? There's nothing to gain. Is it really worth it? Over a slice of Cake? nah.
How would I handle the situation? I would just let Elliot eat the cake. What not, right? Instead of thinking the cake will spoil Elliot's dinner, why not take it as a gesture of love. Realize, appreciate, and be happy with the fact that your son is loved. It's just cake! If this happens regularly, I would tell the grandma in private. Even then I would find a nice way to tell her, maybe...somewhere along the lines of "Mom, I feel really guilty knowing that you're spending your time in a hot kitchen baking him these cakes just for Elliot. Why don't you take a break and relax. Elliot has had so much cake in the past few weeks, that I don't think a break from your cakes will upset him too much."
Is my solution too 'Asian', and my classmates too 'American' (whatever that means!)? I don't think so. I was once told that 'no one on this earth is nice, everyone has a bit of mean inside of them, the only difference is there are people who are dumb and people who are smart'. LOLZ But if you think about it, it's kind of true. There's a time and place for everything, you have to be smart and pick your battles.
For god's sake, let the boy eat cake!
Today was another sunny day in Seattle. As usual, I was around 2 something p.m. I was sitting in Psychology and the class was discussing human behavior and cultural influences. One of the scenarios was "You have asked your mother-in-law not to give little Elliot a piece of chocolate cake because it will spoil his dinner. She says that she make the cake especially for Elliot and gives him a piece." The question was what would do next/how would you react?
OMG! 2 of my classmates basically replied they would tell her the cake will spoil his dinner, take it away and save if for after dinner. Another said she would tell Elliot how thoughtful it was of his grandma to bake him the cake and ask him save it for after dinner (nice!).
My question is, what's wrong with just letting him eat the cake? Think about it, IT'S JUST CAKE. So what !?!? if it spoils his dinner. Little Eliot isn't going to fall over and die just because his missed dinner that day. The world isn't going to blow up just because he ate a slice of cake. Right? Furthermore, being 'Assertive', taking the cake away, insisting to save if for later causes more bad then good. Bad? Yes, your mother-in-law probably won't like you very much (you might not care but...why would you want someone to hate you?). You're sending the grandma the message that you and Elliot are rejecting her love and affection. She is your mother-in-law, and you're bound to run into one another more then a few times in your life time (i.e. during holidays). So if there's a grudge between the both of you, don't you think the grudge will kill the everyone's holiday mood? Not to mention, you're also putting your husband between you and his mom. Elliot will lose respect for his grandma, since you showed him that you overrule her. Elliot also be in a bad mood since he wants cake and can't have it. You probably won't be in good mood after the ordeal. So why would you react that what? There's nothing to gain. Is it really worth it? Over a slice of Cake? nah.
How would I handle the situation? I would just let Elliot eat the cake. What not, right? Instead of thinking the cake will spoil Elliot's dinner, why not take it as a gesture of love. Realize, appreciate, and be happy with the fact that your son is loved. It's just cake! If this happens regularly, I would tell the grandma in private. Even then I would find a nice way to tell her, maybe...somewhere along the lines of "Mom, I feel really guilty knowing that you're spending your time in a hot kitchen baking him these cakes just for Elliot. Why don't you take a break and relax. Elliot has had so much cake in the past few weeks, that I don't think a break from your cakes will upset him too much."
Is my solution too 'Asian', and my classmates too 'American' (whatever that means!)? I don't think so. I was once told that 'no one on this earth is nice, everyone has a bit of mean inside of them, the only difference is there are people who are dumb and people who are smart'. LOLZ But if you think about it, it's kind of true. There's a time and place for everything, you have to be smart and pick your battles.
For god's sake, let the boy eat cake!
10:38 PM |
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